crease

I’m crumpled - 

these creases
a roadmap leading back
to days and days
of
disappointments,
neglect,
regrets,
yet
if you fold me
the right way
I’m certain
I could become
a crane

staccato boy

he seems 
-emotionless-

as he stumbles
through explanation

articulation

words are not his thing you see

still, we're judging him

we judge him on what he says

how he says it

and cringe every time he takes courage to speak

we crumble his words to dust

between the fingers of our supercilious stares

and snicker at his scarce scatterings of syllables

he seems 
-emotionless-
staccato boy

but have you ever stopped
to look beyond the surface
he carries the world in his stare
and while he is stuttering
listen closely
the wisdom you seek
its all hidden
there

honesty

maybe
today is one of those days
and I shrink into myself
the cold helps to withdraw
me and my head
me in my head
it's bad

I keep thinking not to think
just to keep it in

yeah I'm building walls again
brick by brick
slamming them into place
time to hide my face
it hurts less this way

let me run
I want to turn my back and flee
but He's got a firm grip on me
and He refuses to let go
'no', says He
'lady, I've called you to Me',
but in all honesty
I don't know

also
I don't want Him to let go
this hurts so much though
this growth
as I'm being pulled apart
rebuild,
old hidden hurts being stilled

so enmeshed with my sin
that this situation I'm in
feels like destruction
instead of redemption
and it seems easier
to just let go and flee

luckily
He's got a firm grip
on me

Sometimes its easier to run than stay and embrace growth.  It's a comfort vs conflict zone thing.  Having lived through a few conflict zone situations I realize that its better to leave the comfort zone, doesn't make it any easier though.