Sometimes its easier to run than stay and embrace growth. It's a comfort vs conflict zone thing. Having lived through a few conflict zone situations I realize that its better to leave the comfort zone, doesn't make it any easier though.
This is about a yearning for intimacy. Being able to sit with God and just ramble on about anything and everything that's going on in your head and/or life, knowing that your Daddy is with you listening, even caring enough to hear about your most nonsensical thoughts. It's also about coming to a place of hearing His voice and His heart, getting to know Him in such a personal way only to be gained from spending time in His presence.
When I started to write this poem it was to focus on the negatives, as the title indicates. It, however, grew into something much more than just a complaining about the not of things. And in the process of writing I got to a point where I realized that its time for me to learn to accept myself, perceived shortcomings included. This is a continuing journey for me. Everytime I learn something new of myself I get to choose whether it shall become a positive or a negative.
another day -Today was again one of those days where I was so frustrated with my inability and impatience, wanting things that I know should wait. And so I pace in my head, shaking my fists, when really what this impatience is doing is constricting me, robbing me of freedom to let go and let God. I was reminded of this poem, which I wrote sometime last year when I went through a similar kind of impatience. Guess I wrote this poem then to remind me now to not ever forget Gods timing is perfect and putting our trust in Him frees us.
and I'm counting still.
how many more of these,
etchings,
do I need?
each scratch on the walls
of my soul,
screams,
a testimony of
this prison build
through my
impatience
and only
comes freedom
when letting go
see?
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)
It shouldn't be aboutI have been/might still be struggling with accepting that God wants to use me for His glory. I sometimes get the sense that my idea of what that might be and His are worlds apart. I think of all the possibilities and the bigger ones scare me, will I be able to handle praise or recognition and remember who its all for or will I fall off the wagon? I can only pray that God shapes my character such that it will be about praise for Him and not me and my abilities.
praise
recognition
Lord, where are You in this?
How can I even speak
when my fountain runs dry
all died up
even unplugged, I am empty
A perfect vessel never leaks,
am I so contained?
May I break,
allow me to cascade into nothingness
I am not of consequence
when silence is my coat
and, at what cost
would I stay so composed?
Lord, allow me to break for You
May all I receive, spill where I go
May this vessel, broken as she be
bring glory to Thee
It should be about
praise,
recognition,
but only in Your presence
How can I still doubt any of it all
You touch me
and I realise
I am tiny
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You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. (Matthew 7:5)
We all like to “make up stories” about others, whether aloud to someone else or in the safety of your own head. It's so easy to judge people and it probably can not be avoided, but what do you do with these preconceptions of yours? Do you just go with it or do you consciously decide to understand the situation better or give that person a chance? I often forget that I am not without flaw myself.
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