Negatives

yesterday the rain was beautiful

I'm supposed to

know

how life goes

how things work out

or the not of it

I'm supposed to have all the answers

but instead I listen to the insistence of the drops

I stand in the drench

and I soak

spongy me

I take all that you subconsciously give

and I grow fat

heavy

leaving a trail of wet

where I go

me broken vessel as I am

have yet to learn

how to contain

that which should be sacred

forgive me,

for if I hurt you

it might be from a place of confusion

I'm supposed to know how things go,

but I'm still learning about life

and myself

the all of me

but also

the not

that I am

When I started to write this poem it was to focus on the negatives, as the title indicates.  It, however, grew into something much more than just a complaining about the not of things.  And in the process of writing I got to a point where I realized that its time for me to learn to accept myself, perceived shortcomings included.  This is a continuing journey for me.  Everytime I learn something new of myself I get to choose whether it shall become a positive  or a negative.